Tuesday, February 1, 2011

living for what?

it has been a while since i have last said anything, partly because i still dont exactly know what i want to say so that the whole world could read it if they wanted to.
yesterday my mom went to a funeral for a little girl who was 4 years old.  so sad.  she died in a freak accident where a TV fell on top of her.  it is so sad when you think of that. 4 years old so so young, she still had her whole life to live.   why jesus wanted her to come home to him im still not sure.  in my eyes she was robbed of her life, she had 2 parents who loved her and took care of her every need and a brother and sister who loved her dearly.  i wanted to go to the funeral but i was unable to go because of work and school.  the word "funeral" has the word "fun" in it. if you ask me there is NOTHING fun about a funeral. i guess you have to think of where she is going to be going, she gets to meet jesus! that is an amazing thing i cant wait till i finally get to meet him! i do hope that its not for some time though because i feel i still have a lot to do with my life before i meet jesus face to face.  i have heard of so many freak accidents lately that i have been think a lot about what am i doing with my life and does it count for anything.  am i living for myself or for something more.  i believe that i am living for something more. i believe there is a wonderful God out there who has this whole world under control even though it does not seem that way if you look and see all that is going on.  i would like to say that i am living every moment of every day for jesus but in reality that is not true.  there are times that i feel ashamed to be called a christian.  i know for a fact (thankfully!) that i am not the only one who thinks that but it does not make it any better.  if i believe whole heartily in jesus why do i not let it show sometimes?  i also believe in the devil and that he has a lot to do with that.  im allowing him to take over what i am feeling.  i do not like that and fully want to change that about myself.  so that is what i have and will be working on in my personal life.  im going to conquer the devil and not let him into my life.

1 comment:

  1. I think that this was sweet Nichole. I went to a funeral yesterday too, but for an older woman, and it was amazing to see and hear the testament of her life, which was a life lived seeking God and loving others.

    Children's deaths always astound me, and make me so sad. People need to watch for hazards like that.

    http://amandamcl.blogspot.com/

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